Every time I visit my family home, I feel different from the previous time. There is a greater sense of clarity and a more aligned perception of reality. This transformation has come from working on myself internally and letting go of layers of attachment and identification. Each visit brings an increased feeling of peace and freedom.
Like everyone else, I grew up in a society where I was assigned fixed roles—the role of a son, a student, an employee, a citizen, and so on. I now recognize that these are all identities, temporary roles we play. The truth of who we really are—the essence of our being—is something entirely different. It is not confined by any of these limited identities.
Identities place us in a box of expectations and obligations, often tied to concepts like love and purpose. But can love and purpose exist without the limiting confines of identity? They certainly can. In fact, as we shed these layers of identification, love and purpose not only persist but grow deeper. However, to experience this, we must increasingly align with the truth of who we are.
If you are spiritual, you may have heard the saying, "We are all one." Let’s contemplate this for a moment and feel the gravity of this statement. If we are all one—which I agree with—there can be no other conclusion than to accept that there is only one being in the entire universe, and we are that! What else could we be if we are all one?
To truly embrace this truth means embracing dissolution—the dissolution of all identification until we become the ONE. This also means embracing aloneness—all-oneness. It is not an easy truth to behold and embrace, but within it lies the greatest liberation.
This does not mean we must distance ourselves from society or live in a cave. Wherever we are, we can embrace the truth of ourselves and connect with others from that place. We begin to relate with others in wholeness and authenticity. Relationships are no longer built on the tired old ways of obligation and expectation. Instead, they are founded on truth, mutual respect, learning, growth, and opportunities. We no longer need others to change; instead, we begin to accept them as they truly are, without requiring them to change.
I would like to share a personal life example: the relationship between my mother and me. The word mother is often loaded with preconceptions. Through the lens of being a son, I had sought validation, love, support, and nurture from her. However, through deep inquiry, I discovered that when I seek these things from an external source—whether it is a mother or a partner—I am far from the truth of who I really am.
What I truly am is a unique expression of the ONE, who has chosen to inhabit this body to experience life. Let’s call this unique expression - the soul. To grow, this soul has many inquiries: how to be sovereign while still being in relationship with others, how to support others without overstepping boundaries, and how to avoid making ourselves or others dependent.
To embrace the truth of who I truly am meant being authentic, vulnerable, and honest in relationships, no matter the perceived consequences. This led to many relationships that were not meant to last falling away, while those that were meant to stay became even more beautiful and valuable.
In this plane of reality, I am the son, and she is my mother. However, I recognize both of us as souls who are temporarily together, sharing a mutual opportunity for inquiry and learning. I do not share this to impose this concept on anyone else, as each of us must arrive at our own understanding. For me, this realization has meant being able to accept her as she truly is, without feeling the need to change her.
People who are close to you often struggle to see you as you truly are. Frequently, they will try to pull you into the box of limitation and identification, as that feels like the safest place for them.
Embracing the truth of who we truly are means embracing the death of identity—a process that can feel as daunting as real death. However, what they may not realize is that birth follows death—the birth of truth.
Are you in a process of change and transformation. Many of us are embracing it and finding gifts that we never dreamt possible. Reach out if you would like to connect.
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